4 Simple Steps to Improving Your Relationship Now!

A happy couple in love standing together at sunsetHave you ever noticed how one good piece of information can change your point of view? Suddenly with a new perpective, you feel less stressed, more hopeful and optimistic about your relationships and your life?

Here are four of my favorite relationship secrets to help you shift from stuck to successful in just a few moments.

 #1 Recognize that your relationship is your personal growth course.

One of the reasons feeling stuck feels so bad is because feeling stuck usually includes feeling like we don’t have any choices. Changing the way we look at our relationship can change everything.

What if it’s no accident the person you’ve chosen to be with. What if this person and the relationship your share is a platform for you to work out, handle, heal and excel in the areas and that are currently causing you stress and pain.

We all have lessons to learn in this life. Let your relationship issues become your life lessons and gifts to learn more about yourself, your life and what you are capable of.

#2 You keep growing no matter what.

We all grow at different paces and speeds. Sometimes our partner does not want to go counseling / yoga / the nutritionist / a workshop / etc. That’s okay, eventually everyone will need to grow in order for the relationship to be healthy and grow, but for now, lets talk about you!

If you hold yourself back from being the best you that you can be, by slowing your growing to save or maintain your relationship, you are setting yourself up for major disappointment and resentment. If you keep growing, whatever that looks like to you, then no matter what happens, you will have the best chance of feeling happy and excited about life with or without your partner.

The better you feel and the happier you are, the better and happier your relationship will be. The best part is, as we become more of who really are, our authentic happiness makes it easier for our partner to be happier as well.

#3 Remember you and your partner are on the same side.

Lets face it, there are times when we disagree with our partner and have a conflict to resolve. One of the best ways to hang in there together and keep the conflict constructive is to remember that you are in this together.

Sit next to each other, say out loud what the goal really is (i.e. to get along and have a happy life together). From there you can look at the problem together, really listen to each other’s needs and come up with solutions that care for everyone involved.

Try looking at the issue like a puzzle that has many possible solutions and together you will find one or more that work for Team You-Two.

 #4 Make it fun for you.

My husband loves to say this to me whenever I look worried or stressed. Whether I’m off to do a favor for a family member or preparing to give a talk, he reminds me to make it fun for me. These five simple words immediately shift my attention from expectations and stress to relaxing and enjoying the experience…which makes whatever it is more fun and enjoyable for everyone involved.

How does this relate to your most intimate relationship? Life is meant to be enjoyed, make time for as much fun as you can. Together and separately, whether at the store, the movies, dinner or doing chores, simply take a moment to check in with yourself and ask; “how can I make this fun for me”? You will intuitively know what subtle changes to make for more fun. *Bonus benefit: When we are relaxed and having fun, it makes it easier for the people around us to do the same.

Couples that laughs together, stays together.

If you like these tips and want learn more, you can catch my unscripted online face to face (computer to computer) interview with Alana Fournet, Creator of the Intentional Living Project where I share in more detail about how to add these ninja relationship secrets to your relationship tool-belt!

The Intentionaly Living Project – 4 Secrets Interview

Sending you love, joy, peace and fun in your relationships and in your life!
~ Rachel


  1. Love this article Rachel

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