Should I Stay or Should I Go? Help to Decide

Should I Stay or Should I Go: 3 Vital Questions to Ask Yourself – To Help You Decide


stay_or_go_signAs a couples counselor and relationship therapist I often hear from clients the painful question they have been asking themselves for awhile: “Should I stay or should I go?” For many, this question can be a mentally exhausting, painful place to be. It can keep you up at night worrying and obsessively distracted, thinking about it all day.

You are not alone. If it were easy to figure out and sort through – you would have.

Here are 3 vital questions to ask yourself that can help you get clear on what to do, what would feel right for you and what steps to take next.

The 3 Vital Questions:

  1.  If my partner never changes can I be happy here?
  2.  If I never change can I be happy here?
  3.  Can I imagine myself feeling fully alive, living a vibrant happy life with my current partner?

What to do with your answers: Decide to grow. If you keep growing (whatever that means to you) you will find your answers and feel more alive. You may not have to leave your relationship in order to start growing but if you don’t grow, you will never be able to stay and be happy.

You Must Keep Growing.

What does that mean? It means that since we can’t control our partners and we can only control ourselves, it’s time to improve and nurture ourselves. If you think you may want to leave your relationship and the idea of leaving feels overwhelming to you, that’s okay. You don’t have to do anything that you are not ready to do. But if you want to be happy then get help and then – take that pottery class, do that yoga retreat, read that book, love yourself and give yourself all the things you need in order to feel truly loved and supported while you figure things out.

The relationship you nurture with yourself is the one that will guide you through.

Okay, So What Do I Do Next? Seek the support that will keep you open to your own inner guidance and connected to your authentic self.  Spend time with friends that love you just the way you are. Seek the counsel and advice of a good therapist. Therapy can help by providing you with a safe place to think and feel, to incubate while you build the skills and courage to give yourself whatever it is you truly desire.

When you’re feeling filled with love and self-empowerment you will know exactly what to do. In fact, you may already know what to do. You  just might need some care and support while you sort it out.

If you’re feeling lost, stuck or unsure, there is hope. If you remain open, honest and kind with yourself you may find that “that something you need to do” may even surprise you.

If you would like to talk more I invite you to call or email to schedule a time to connect. I want to support you in having the most empowered, beautiful life you can imagine for yourself – And be there for you while you take the sometimes quiet, sometimes big steps you need to take to get there.


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